And now...the load bearing wall

So...around my house or in my life, there are a few odd things. Say...a kitchen island completely redone with electrical outlets that still don't work 2 years later. Say...a shed on your side yard that still has to secure the door w/ a rusty nasty old chisel, or say...an auto fill feature on your swimming pool, yet you have filled the pool w/ the garden hose for the past year.

All of these things SHOULD require repair or work by either an: electrician, handyman, or swimming pool technician, or say hmmmmm a general contractor.

All of these things for some apparent reason actually, in my world, require work by either: A team of certified members of the national energy commission, with a special envoy in outlet conduit connectivity degrees, Hercules (he needs to lift the shed for some reason, then support it during 6 rotations of the earth during a full moon and summer solstice event), THEN the shed will be level so a lock can be placed on it, and last... Then Flipper, Orca and Shamu all need to be here to perform water exercises simultaneously while at the same time a team of underwater navy seals will re-install the white floaty ball thing to the auto fill.

The reason for these extreme repairs is that all of the items that are in need of repair are tied to "Load Bearing Walls" apparently. So, any attempt to repair them will no doubt cause the entire home to collapse.

Well, not really...but in years past, in my home, my sister's home, and as I can recall on occasion in my parents home growing up... Simple little things that are in need of repair and are of some priority to...lets say...the Wife (I'd like to actually be able to use the 100 square feet of granite in the kitchen with my Cuisinart or Kitchen Aid, but since there isn't any power yet...I still cram it onto the ORIGINAL builders counters, next to the cook top, and often open the shed wondering how many critters (read RATS) will not doubt pour out, and lastly,... the auto fill thing just bugs! It was one of the many bells and whistles we added to the pool that just fails, but never seems to get fixed...no pool lights, shear descents that no longer work when the solar heater is on, etc...) were all blamed on the item in need of repair having something to do w/ a load bearing wall.

So...as I grew older, got married, and also came upon my husbands quirks...I have just lovingly (lets be honest...at this point I am just a hag on these issues) named them as "load bearing walls". They are not repairable. They will remain as they are until: I do them myself (auto fill baby...watch out, as soon as I figure you out...YOUR MINE!), or hire someone (really, right now...money ain't growing on tree's).

Is it a big deal, not really, not today. But...one day...the perfect storm is going to hit...
I see it now, a Summer's day.

The party is about to happen (lets say it's a party for my in-laws to further fuel the storm). I need to make a cake and have to drag the kitchen aid again across the kitchen, it falls - hits my foot - BREAKS MY FOOT and a tile of slate in the kitchen. I need to vacuum up the slate and my pools of blood, but where is the shop vac...OH NO!!! It's in the SHED. As I stumble w/ only one foot now (the other is lame...from the mixer remember!) to the shed and I attempt to open it the rusty nasty chisel falls out of the crooked latch, falls into the open gaping wound on my foot and tetanus and gangrene immediately set in. I can feel the faint coming on...ohhh if I only had some cool water to help me, then I remember the pool - it's just steps away, I can make it, I can refresh myself with the waters of life...I run to the pool and jump in and CLUNK (that's my head) I hit the bottom - no water! THE POOL IS EMPTY. No water has been put in the pool.... That's it, I lay there...hoping someone arrives to help pull me from the barren dry cavern in my back yard.

OK...so that was a bit of an exaggeration. But, you get my frustration right....So, I'm gonna fix the auto fill, I'm gonna pay an electrician for the island, and I'll just buy a new shiny chisel and deal w/ the shed. That sounds reasonable right?

I'm out! Julie