It's my party...and I'll cry if I want to.

So, first disclaimer, I'm doing this on an iPad, so typing is bit odd...please pardon any typos. And now...I must ask the party favors and pointy hats marching around my bed to kindly leave. I am NOT going to fall into a pity party. It is hard not to, but I also need to keep this recovery in perspective. It has been only 40 days since the surgery, not a huge amount of time, so I know things will get better. This past week has still been a week full of nausea, and high sensitivity to odors. I was driving the other day like a springer spaniel hanging my head out the window because the odor in my car was making me sick. I was feeling like a hurl and laughing at the same time. Ron and did didnt find to much humor in it given that I almost side swipped a tree. Ooopsie. My nausea appears to not be coming from a defective gall bladder ( a nuclear HIDA scan on thur helped figure that out ..test involved me having to drink a cup of cream! To see if it made me immediately nauseous ...or just nauseous once the contents exited the gall bladder, mine was the latter). Good news for the gall bladder, bad news (again poor Ron ) for the person down wind 20min later. Oooopsie. With the test results not shown an issue with mr. G.Badder, dr. Moved me back to a full mushy/liquid diet again for a week, and re-start on solids and see how it goes. I did manage to get 1/2 of a banana peanut butter shake down this morning and it didnt repulse me two swigs in, soooooo I guess that is progress. Speaking of progress -- exercised this week 4 days out of 7. Started the week at 239. Now at 235, so four more pounds. The big obstacle still seems to be the nausea, and now it's compounding effect of making me apprehensive to leave the domicile for long periods of time, because that means...da da da, I may have to put some nutrients in the pie hole and that generally now sets off a nausea fit. So, a good goal for me this week is to find a travel protein source that is mushy and high in protein. aNY suggestions folks? Has to be under 5grams of sugar and easily transported. Ok friends that's an update. I truly appreciate everyones kind support. It really does help.

Month one. Check.

So...my last blog post was in November of 2010. So...obviously, not a real committed person to the art of blogging. But, today as I sat (yes SAT) in the shower and pondered my new altered self, it occurred to me that I need to change that part of me who stalls out on things. I need to change primarily the part of my life that has to do with physical exertion...EXERCISE! This new altered me is losing weight (20 lbs in my 1st month. Yea!). But, weight loss alone will not get me to the health I need. My heart, lungs, bones, they all need there own TLC. And...it is my job to do that. This 1st month since bariatric surgery has been WAY harder than I had ever imagined. And, I guess that's ok, cause if I had known...I bet I would have chickened out. But since ignorance in my case is an altered stomach, then I say what the heck...I'm all in.

My strategy for month two is to not worry so much about the variety of food I can no longer tolerate or stomach, and instead throw that attention towards...da da dahhhhh. Exercise.

Why blog about this? Heck I don't know, it just feels good to get some of this fear and worry out of my ever pondering brain and onto ...errr a screen. It feels ok to share some of this challenge, most of it is still inside. But...maybe as the pounds come off, more of gunk that is inside will come out as well? Who knows.

Month one recap:
Surgery on 12/5. Released. 12/7. Really able to start moving around on 12/12
started at 259 lbs (ok, that # is sooo hard to share, but I did it. ), lost 20 lbs and started today month 2 at 239.
Nausea is the most challenging obstacle. It's constant
I've walked 7 times this past month, 1.2 miles each time.

Thankful....yes I am

So, in the past year I have - lost a home but gained a job.
I have lost a few pounds and gained a new liking for donuts.
I have gained a new respect for K teachers and lost respect for our
judicial system. I have gained a garage full of inventory and lost
an office space. I have fell more in love with my son and husband
and found a new level of disdain for Bank's in general. So...end the end
with such a wide spectrum of emotions how does one stay balanced? Thankful?
Grateful? I don't know! I really don't. I go some mornings to work
in such a deep funk that I sometimes "wake up" at my street in Oxnard and feel like
"wow"...did i really just travel 42 miles and not remember it? Other days, I see
the gorgeous mountains that shelter my precious son Mason and view at the ocean as I drive down the Conejo grade and feel so fortunate to have a job and the ability to
bring income into our home again. As I prepare for another day on this earth and
look out at the things (yes things!) I still have I realize that I do have so much to be thankful. I do have a warm home and a church that continues to support us with groceries. I have a healthy amazing son lying next to me sniffing his nanny girls.
I have a dog who is a FREAK and makes me smile at least 20 times every day, AND I have a husband who left again today...to early to even know (5am today) to go out and WORK. HARD!

How do I sum up this entry into my blog in a manner that allows you the reader to feel a conclusion has been met....I don't know. I just know that this morning, I am again dealing with the extreme emotions that this economy has brought upon me and my plan today is to again cast these fears upon my Lord and ask Him to help me get through another day.

:-) thanks for reading.
Julie

My niece Sarah made me do this...so hold her accountable :-)

So, this past week my niece Sarah Mae Christine Pellerino Thompson the first started a blog. I loved reading her words and "feeling her seebsness" in the words and thoughts. That evening I pondered some tips for parenting and that led me down a path of being amazed how quick time fly's in this parenting world. To quote my sister Brenda, being a mom goes by soooo fast, ONE LONG DAY AT A TIME!".

As a result while having a cup of coffee this morning (that I misplaced!...while I was taking out some recycling with Duncan...and he spent 10 minutes explaining to me how he really didn't want to throw away the empty boxes, cause he wanted to make them into a rat trap (insert 5 min of really detailed box instructions from a six year old) and then when said rat is secured in the box of death, he will bring it over to his cousin where (and I quote) "cousin Brennan can bash it with a shovel")... back in the house, ready to have that coffee...standing in my pj's rubbing my eyes...where is my coffee? Ron - blank stare (well, not blank he's watching the tivo'd LAL vs PHX game w/ only 1:11min left in the 4th..so I get his lack of any interest in the missing coffee/rat bashing discussion). But, Duncan bless his hearts retraces my steps...MOM...you had your coffee when we took out the recycling ...DUH! (yes, he says DUH), back to the garage and ahhhhh there you are sweet liquid of morning. And here I am just a short 15 min later...ugh coffee is cold. DANG IT! Oh well, I'm drinking it and pretending it's a fancy drinnk from Starbucks that supposed to be lukewarm.

So, here's what I'm gonna blog about today... funny things D and I talked about this week ...
A) Rat and Box (see above)
B) visiting a toothpick factory. YES a toothpick factory. we toured our local fire station with his school last week and this week on our way to school one morning he says out of the blue "mom, wouldn't it be awesome to visit a toothpick factory?" ...Uh yea son that would be awesome! What do you think it's like? Well, I think it's full of pencils that they are sharpening and sharpening until they are toothpicks. (Well, OK then, he's been thinking of it!)
C) My rice vs Panda Express rice... Made chicken and rice for dinner on Thursday. While eating it Duncan observes that my rice isn't as good as Panda Express and then he states "Mom -- you need to get a rice maker and make good rice for me, not this rice ok Mom!" Well...ok chef Duncan I'll hop right on that.
and...
D) God should have made us with out our middle fingers Mom so we wouldn't be tempted to use them in a naughty way.


There it is just a few tid bits from that glorious son of mine. I'm gonna go make some HOT coffee, enjoy this rainy day and perhaps...pull those boxes out of the trash can and see if we can't catch a rat this week :-)

What do Robert Wagner and Faye Darbison have in common?

Last night, In Camarillo there was a party.
A big ol' Hampton Inn festive thing. Oh yea...that's how we roll ;-)

It was a party to celebrate my Aunt Fayes 70th Birthday.

I had spent the major portion of my day at the Theatre on High Street helping out with a Book event for the "Movie and TV STAR" Robert Wagner. 200 people showed up to hear him speak, take Q and A, and then sign his book. Folks paid 25.00 a book, were in awe and to Roberts credit - he signed every last book, endured all of the request for pictures and heard all the silly stories... "my birthday is the same date as yours" " I met Natalie Wood at the Bel Air country club in 1970..." (yea...a little more salt for that wound Robert?) etc... He was a Star, and from the bit of time I had w/ him a gentleman.

Then, I am whisked away by my stars (Ron and D) to Aunt Fayes party. I walk in the room, and to a Darbison/Duncan gal...it is kinda like walking on the red carpet .... Look - there's Diane from Colorado who flew in for the event. Oh...there's Kenny from Redding who drove down, and Deborah from Paso Robles, and Dan & Kim and their studly mc stud son (my adorable 2nd cousin) Scott who flew in from Oklahoma, and Mike and Jenny who drove in from Phoenix, and ....well you get the gist - people moved and made things happen to get to Aunt Fayes party.

BUT WHY?

Then, it is clear why...
She is a movie star of epic proportions for my family. An unwavering tower of humility, class, and LOVE. All three of her children stand and speak words of such true love and adoration that I can not hold my tears. These are my cousins, pouring out such words of love and friendship for their Mommy. My Aunt Faye. And, as I cry - I think.... Robert Wagner ain't got nothing on my family.

I don't need the red carpets, fame, and fortune. I have it! I have role models, I WANT my Son to stand someday and speak these types of words about me. But...how does that happen? It happens on a boat - fishing w/ your son's. It happens in the middle of floods and wild fires engulfing Santa Paula being a rock for your kids. It happens in Laughlin on your hotel bed...reliving the loses of the night.

It happened this evening, a 4 year old that took a nap today, cause Ronnie and Mommy needed some down time, so said 4 year old just isn't sleepy at 7pm, or 8pm or 9pm or UGH 10pm ... So... I told him stories, I read him books, I made him ANOTHER warm milk and ovaltine. I was and I am tired....but, I have a goal, I have a desire. It's clear and it has a name... Aunt Faye.

I would be honored to someday be in her league. For now...I will take the memories and love from last nights celebration and keep burning that feeling of admiration to my heart. I know I will need to call upon it the next time Duncan insists he can make a saddle for the dog...and Mom... don't worry, it will be safe. It won't hurt the dog...riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!

Good night! D's finally asleep so I'm gonna hit the hay.

Mommies want to just have a lunch where we can leave the knives on the table every once in awhile.

Ok...first and foremost props to my friend Terry Leddy for the title of this blog.

I returned just hours ago from my church's (Moorpark Presbyterian) annual ladies retreat.
And, I, will state a naughty confession ;-) My sister (she will remain nameless to protect her) and I left early. YES we ditched!

As two girls who went to a Christian High School and never ditched a day of school, this was kinda a big deal. We aren't Catholics, but we dealt w/ the ditch in some Catholic guilt kinda ways, but then after a few moments of processing... we "got over it"...and by "got over it" I mean - we were given another dose of God's grace. He "got over it" for us. He reminded us that sometimes a retreat isn't just the meetings...

It's sitting by the creek listening to the frogs sipping a glass of wine w/ your sissy.

It's looking up into the night sky and being amazed at the vast beauty that rests above our heads every single evening...and when we find time to glance at it...it's there...just waiting.

It's stopping for lunch in Santa Barbara at a restaurant named after your Grandma (Opal's on State Street) and having a Thai infused salmon that reminds you of another Thai infused meal you had years before on Kauai, and realizing how blessed we are as sisters to have shared so many lovely meals.

It's taking a nap!

It's taking a shower...uninterrupted by Thomas the train chugging by the shower doors or hearing the theme from the Magic School bus blaring in the back ground while you rinse the cream rinse and clean the nether regions at the same time.

It's having a friend (enter Terry Leddy into the story) pal around with you and your sister. Learning about her life, her kids, her live in Mommy, her first date....and then hearing it...

"I'm just happy to be able to go somewhere for lunch where I can leave the knives on the table "(Terry has a 2 year old and a 5 year old). Brenda and I immediately GOT IT.

We knew exactly( I MEAN EXACTLY) what she meant. Sometimes, it's not about what you intended to set out to do, but rather what you need to do. Have a meal, leave the knives on the table and visit. God grace....

Eventually we did just that. We found a place in Solvang (The Chef's Touch, http://www.thechefstouch.com/) and had an amazing meal. And guess what...they had Thai Squash soup. AMAZING, delicious, fabulous!!! Please go to the place if you go to Solvang!! . We all ordered a sandwich, we all shared our sandwich's with each other. We all had a fabulous glass of wine with our meal. We all visited and learned more about each other. NEVER not even once did we have to help fill in a crayon word search, pick up a toy, wipe a nose or demand a chicken nugget be consumed. In essence...we left all the knives on the table.

So..as we drove home from the retreat, early... having "gotten over it" and thankful for Gods grace, love, and freedom....we stopped at (here is naughty confession #2) Bacara

And that is a whole separate blog!!!!!

I'm out. Julie

Margarita, she sets the standard.

So...I have this friend Hilary who well OVER A YEAR AGO, went on the "austerity plan" I put that in quotes...to give Hil her props...she really deserves it. She cut back, scaled back, sacrificed, and she and her husband forged the road of (as w/ so many of my friends) of small business owner.

Ron and I have been on the Hilary "austerity plan" ourselves now for a good 3 months. It's hard! We spent the first 10 years of our marriage on the same plan but...it was unknown to us (read: we had NO FREAKING EXTRA CASH). Then - solely due to the Lord Jesus Christ, our business flourished and we were able to actually enjoy a good 3 to 4 year period of truly not worrying about "cash". Now, understand, we live in a nice home...but it's not a mansion. We have good cars. But, they are reasonable. We traveled a bit... but never beyond the Pacific. More significantly, we were able to just enjoy not stressing for a few years, after (as all newlyweds do) really stressing!

I (as a true Scottish Duncan) have been able to re-acclimate to the "austerity plan" with an odd ease that honestly freaks Ron out a bit. Groceries are stock piled, lights are turned off, pool pump timers are shortened, etc.... Then...as a couple we - cut the pool man (pool was green a good 4-5 weeks but is now a lovely shade of blue thank-you), reduced the gardener to every other week, gave up the "spa" pedicures, now have the hair done every 10 weeks instead of 8. Really... not huge sacrifices...actually not sacrifices at all.

But, as things grow even tighter we think...how else can we cut back. Then... (going back to the tile of this blog) Margarita steps in. Margarita is the incredible lady who has maintained our home for almost 7 years now. When I was pregnant w/ Mason and honestly didn't see the lower level of my home for over two months due to being on bed rest, ...Margarita kept it going. She kept Ronnies work clothes not just clean, but "kept". Shirts were hung along w/ 501 jeans. He works in construction, not corporate. But she knew...it still mattered, it's not Armani - but still it needs to be wrinkle free and clean.

But, in this new truly economic slow down, We contemplated cutting Margarita to every other week. But today...after we (Ron and I) both left our home, and didn't return till almost 5pm and showed up to it not just being clean...but all of his work jeans, being found and dug out of our hampers, washed and perfectly ready for the contractors week. Our dishwasher with sippy cups and wine glasses loaded, ran and then put away. My beloved Williams Sonoma table cloth washed pressed and back on my table. All of these things done ON TOP OF THE NORMAL CLEANING OF THE CHAOS WE LEAVE FOR MARGARITA, and we (Ron and I) got it! She (Margarita) gets it. We are running like one armed paper hangers to keep our business going. So, she, her own business owner steps it up as well. She give 110% and makes our coming home, just all that much easier and truly nicer.

Margarita sets the standard so very high, as she always has. I am so appreciative to have her help and support. But, I do also hope I can embrace her business saviness. I hope to emulate her business model and not just do what I've been asked to do....but a bit more...to make my customers think...Not to give me a reduction in contracts, but find a way to give me more!

Because, that's what Ron and I did tonight. If I can work just 1 or 2 hours more a week, then not only can we continue the luxury of Margarita in our lives, we can continue to have the time to grow our business.

The austerity plan continues, not so much sushi, not so much Starbucks...at this point really just "not so much". But, from Margarita,.... it's really a whole lot! Thanks Margarita, and tomorrow... a few more cold calls and some more austerity.

I'm out, and I'm tired. ;-) Julie